How Cousin Love and Cousin Marriage became taboo?

Cousin Marriage is controversial, but why?

Legality of Cousin Marriage between Hindu couples is very much controversial in India. Most of the people do not want to talk about it. However, just because you don’t wanna see something doesn’t mean it does not exist. A whole generation is asking questions and here are some answers. The problem with the legality of Cousin Marriage starts with Prohibited Degree of Relationships.

What is Prohibited Degree of Relation?

Well, way back in 1955 lawmakers of our country were not so open minded. They were fighters, true, but most of them were fighters for land and recognition. Don’t get me wrong. I truly respect the guys who took us from one sh***ole and dropped us in an another one, but I truly hate the people who never tried to fix the things they should have in the first place. Anyway, while creating the Hindu Marriage Act they wanted to limit the definition of marriage. To make sure that the Hindu Marriage Act stays different from the Muslim Law and others, they created the degree of prohibited relationship. Few founders of our nation were the fundamentalist to their guts. The Prohibited Degree of Relationship contains 33 Relationships that cannot Marry to each other. From Father-Daughter and Mother-son to few generations of your parents cannot marry among each other.

Full list of Degrees of Prohibited Degree of Relationship

Why did they do this?

The question should be why we are still doing this. But history prevails the truth.

Let’s go back few decades and look at general India family structure. What do you see? There would be only one thing persisting in the face, JOINT FAMILIES. For the confused folks, Joint Families are the institution where people for same ancestral lineage co-exist in the same house. In such families, the wealthiest man is the strongest one and oldest one is the Supreme One. Back in the time, when Joint Families existed everywhere, the people of same ancestral lineage lived in the same house, so did their kids.

In our Indian Culture we believe in planned breeding… wait a minute, it is not the right word, we believe in Controlled Breeding. Controlled Breeding is same like dog-breeding in the pet-store. If you wonder that I’m wrong, go and look into a matrimonial page of any newspaper. Yep, that’s controlled breeding where only the masters can decide with whom their dogs… I mean kids, can sc**w. That’s not as same as controlled breeding in reality because we have exceeded 120 Crore in number but our quality is as usual sub-standard.

Anyway, in such scenario where we only worry about who is born but not what they will become, the kids in the same house may exceed too many in number.

Somehow, most parents succeed in ramming one fact down their kids throat that everyone they see is their brother/sister. We call each other brother and sister and that’s not bad at all. Better if our kids have these feeling in their heart (somehow that will control our population crisis, everyone is brother-sister means no breeding). It is the same thing happened with our parents. They used to call each other brother and sister even though there wasn’t any true blood relationship between them at all. Till this, there is no problem. Somehow, parents believe that because they were brothers their kids should also treat each other as brother and sister.

In the back age, when cousins lived together till their adolescence the fact that they are brother and sister sink in and digested. Somehow, now when families have been disintegrated and everyone lives far from each other, sometimes truth weigh more than the made out fact, i.e., COUSINS ARE NOT BROTHERS AND SISTERS.

But this is not the end of story. There is still friction between old and young. That’s why there is devil’s like Lover Killing/Female Genocide (maliciously called Honor Killing). But just claiming something doesn’t make it right. There is an explanation of how cousins are not brother and sister.

Legality of Cousin Marriages and the big friction-Part-3

How to marry Cousin Love legally?

Marrying cousin love legally is the matter of patience and power. In this case, knowledge and money are the two essential powers you can have. The problem cousin lovers face is prejudice. The world is fairly unfair with cousin lovers. In the last two posts of this series, we discovered how our ancestors have fed us with the notion that cousins are brother and sister. It is not true, truth is completely different from what they have taught us. It is really necessary if we clear ourselves with the truth.

Who are brother and sister?

Brother and sister mean a person of opposite sexes, born out of the same mother. In this case, if your mothers are different but the father is same, then you are step-relative, even then you are not true brother-sister at all. That why there is notion like a real brother and the cousin or step-brother/sister. This is a true hard fact to sink in after ages of lies. The person who has not born out of your mother’s womb is nothing to you. Take your time, folk, the fact will sink in with difficulty. Our ancestors have used lies to bend the truth that’s why they were Hypocrites.

This is the depth of our problem!

It all because of money. Yes, folks, it is all because of money. Back in time, when people started earning property they also figured out a way to keep the property to themselves. Though they died but they made a law that the property will be transferred to their blood relatives. If a person dies issueless (without any offspring or child), his/her property will be divided to the next close person in his/her ancestry. Means, if I die without a child, my property will be transferred to my sister/brother and if I’m the lone survivor of my parents, the property will be transferred to the kids of my uncle/aunt.

This system has a particular flaw that has hooked up with the society. Because the property normally transferred to the brother-sisters, we have recognized our cousins as brother and sisters. That’s why there are words like cousin-brother and cousin-sister, but the truth is THERE IS NO SUCH WORD LIKE COUSIN-BROTHER OR COUSIN-SISTER, THERE IS ONLY COUSIN.

So how can I marry cousin love legally?

Depends on by which way you decide to marry your cousin. Since the law has made a prohibition, it also made an exception. The marriage law has accepted any marriage that goes on with the customs of your community, group, caste, creed, and family. IF YOUR PARENTS GIVE THEIR CONSENT ON YOUR MARRIAGE YOU CAN CLAIM IT AS A VALID MARRIAGE. Remember, customs can be made. All it requires a good money in your pocket and right words with your parents. Otherwise, you can go away and start a new family.

What happens if my parents raise an objection?

Well, in such case you cannot marry with your cousin. It is really a s***ed-up country we are living in, guys. CONSTITUTION HAS DENIED US RIGHT TO CHOOSE LIFE PARTNER. That’s the way it is. Most politicians in our country are basically criminals, frauds and illiterate (saving for few left out of the most). Only a few people might know that in the month of October 2008 LAW COMMISSION RECOMMENDED REMOVAL OF COUSINS FROM DEGREE OF PROHIBITED RELATIONSHIP (report No. 212). The Government worked but Politicians slept in their comfortable Government funded Houses.

The bottom line is Cousin Marriages are prohibited ab initio, but hey Dowry is also prohibited, right? So you can marry your cousin but better make your parents ready for this. At least, make sure that they won’t interfere with your happy married life.

Please read out the last post of this series:-

How to convince parents for marrying Cousin love

How to convince your parents for cousin love marriage?

No matter how hard the truth is, it always prevails. And the truth is, for happy cousin marriage life you need to convince your parents. However, there are other ways to live happily with your cousin.

It is an old saying:-

 Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger.

People are dying to get married. Alas! Same goes with the lovers. But those who has gone far above the basic of human mentality doesn’t care if the marriage ever happens in their life. In the same way, if you are dying to get marry with your cousin, maybe you’ll be dead someday somehow. The thing is, never succumb to basics and you can achieve more.

First of all, before you convince your parents for cousin love marriage, you need to face the truth that your cousin is not your sister/brother and you’ll openly tell this to everyone on their face. If they threaten you with the law that prohibits cousin marriage, tell them that you don’t care. But this will happen only when you go above marriage thing, and believe me, this will make you stronger. The Legality of Cousin Marriages is a problem existing only between Hindus, Jains, Sikhs and Buddhist. The major religions in the world don’t have such restriction. However, when there is a problem, there is a remedy.

It’s simple guys, follow the truth!

Yes, guys. Though, cousin marriages are prohibited and that simply means that you cannot have a marriage certificate from the Marriage Registrar Offices of the country (same doesn’t apply to foreign marriage registrar offices). However, you can live as long as you want to live with your cousin. You can have kids, have a family, have your house and etc. In short, the marriage has no value if you have enough love, money and broad mind. But if you’re not convinced with living-in-relationship, we have a breakthrough solution.

Invite your parents to your marriage, convince your parents

Here you go. This is the brave people stuff, so scaredy cats can go back, curl up into a ball and sleep to the end of the world.

Before everything you do with moving ahead in love life, have money making career in your pocket, enough bank balance to start afresh, bravery which won’t end and of course, the love which has passed all subtle tests of love. If your lover is not financially independent like you then ask your lover to be financially independent and even help him/her. There are many ways to test your love and some of them are really helpful.

Know How to test if your lover loves you most!!!

The thing is, in love your own commitment matters more over the commitment of your lover. Anyway, you’ll love him/her, even if he/she won’t. My advice, if your lover has truly loved you for a once is your long relationship, pursue him/her to the end of your life. If it is one-sided love (under any situation), just ask him/her if he/she feels the love for you (finish the suspense).

The hardest task on the whole planet is becoming financially independent. Nowadays, it is even harder. Meanwhile, your lover is building his/her career, you do same with yours. If your lover is already earning member, he/she must help you to become one too, this is what lovers suppose to do. Remember, if the parents show any violent behaviour, you can immediately leave with your lover.

P.S. Anyone reading this post must read LAWFUL SAFETY GUIDE FOR ELOPING LOVERS

But better safe than sorry!


Whenever I look at love lives I find one thing:-

“Love is not an act or a status, it is life and life is hard.”

Yes, folks, you can live-in-relationship with your cousin but you should get ready for any kind of lawsuit against you. In current time, parents have grown di*ks themselves, literally (one of them actually possess one). Parents are not even ashamed to lodge false rape case against you if you marry to their daughter. However, when there is a problem, there is a solution.

Though constitution does not allow you to choose your soulmate, you can live with him/her without interruption. If somebody threat your personal liberty that you can file a writ petition under article 226 of Constitution of India for stopping the arrest of your lover and show courts that you willingly took his side and do not want to live with your parents anymore.

Author’s Advise-Cum-Disclaimer to Cousin Lovers

If you are a woman and wants to marry your cousin, that’s all right. But be sure of few things:-

  • You are financially independent. Before anything, make this for sure.
  • You are brave to face any situation.
  • You have to test the love of your partner. Remember, people always betray those who trust them. Never be naive.
  • You are mentally and physically strong enough to save yourself from general situation. There are people looking for a weak woman for making her suicide bomb and/or sex worker. Never trust someone you haven’t known deeply. And also, keep knife or paperweight for your protection. If you don’t have them you can easily find a stone or something like that from nearby. Don’t worry, you can even kill someone to protect yourself.

Read: – You have right to protect yourself

  • Make sure to have a good lawyer in touch. If you are planning to leave your parents house, secretly or independently, you may likely to file a writ petition for peaceful life in your future.
  • Make sure to have contact with other lovers in the world and also in the nearby places. In the technology prominent that’s not hard to find, is it?
  • Anything that came up in your head to make your own safety should be done at once. Remember, your enemy only needs your ignorance to harm you. In this case, your enemy, who are your own relative, know you better and can hurt you worse.

Be safe, be lawful and keep loving!!!